I guess time comes that people have to move on…. After more than two years of rants in this what I call second home to my thoughts… I shall leave… Bitter sweet memories… laughter and tears… kilig moments and heartbreaking tales.. all rolled into one… a proof of how colorful my life was for the past two years… no matter what happen.. no matter what I had battled on… no matter who made my life as colorful as it is or how dull as it is… I'd like to thank the persons whom are part of my life, for without them, I would not feel this complete, this strong….

And dami kong drama.. isa lng naman un.. lilipat na ako ng blog mga peeps kac naman palaging nawawala at nagloloko tong blogdrive… D ko alam kung paano ko ililipat ung luma kong mga entries.. sayang kac.. potek ang dami ko kayang tula dun… at kasentihan, na habang sinusulat eh lumuluha pa ang lola nyo… wahahaha.. ang baduy.. kakahiya.. pero bakit ba?? Sa un ang nafifeel ko eh… walang paki-alamanan… kanya-kayang buhay to…

So pano.. kita-kita tau sa bago kong tahanan…. Paki-edit na rin ng bago ko address ha.. baka maligaw c mr postman..

See you there friends…

Why does it have to be that when you’re happy, someone will be hurt, somebody will be sad. Why wouldn’t everyone around you understand the things that you wanted to do, the things that you just want to have… I never wanted to hurt anyone, not in any way, never an intention; I just want to be happy just like everybody… Buy why does being happy have to mean of hurting someone else. We all deserve to be happy but is it right that we will be happy having someone else’s happiness at stake….

Am I ready for you? Am I ready to commit. I admit I like you, I always think of you, always looking forward to seeing you and talking to you… But is it just now? Will it be forever.. I was once so sure about what I feel, I was so sure of what I want, how I want it… I was sure that I will tell the world that I love somebody, that he was all of me, that he was my life, I could shout and tell the world that I love him… will I be ready for that?? Is this to that extent.. or is this temporary?? I’m so afraid of falling again but more afraid of hurting you… We have just been starting but I think somebody is already hurt.. I’m happy yet I’m not.. wtf….

If only people can be black and white, or transparent.. they would tell you what they feel, what they want to do, but life isn’t that easy… life isn’t fair.. you just thought you know but you end up being wrong, I don’t usually assume, its my defense mechanism, I don’t want to expect so as not to get hurt, but it made me hurt a good old friend…

I’m sorry my friend… I never want to do that, am still not sure about everything, all I know is I’m happy and always wanted to be happy.. I didn’t know what I wanted too but he at least showed me what I want maybe, what I need maybe… you said you were ok.. but eventually you were not… I’m sorry.. I never meant to hurt you…

To my bestfriend tux, Am I ready to love again the way I did on you… I know you’re happy for me.. I’m not sure.. I’m afraid, If we could talk right now, I know you’d just smile and tell me to go on… I wanted to be sure I;m over you and will never look back to our past.. But I know I;m sure. I already have your blessing, your approval… oh well, maybe I just miss my bestfriend at this kind of times…

Anyways, nobody is forcing me, I have all the time I have, no one is in a hurry.. I might just be senti today.. I’m just weird today…

I’ve been reading my old entries way back June 2005. That was the time that I arrived in KL. I was indeed a happy person, very jolly and sentimental entries ang lumalabas sa akin noon… I was so inlove I guess, though madalas na entry ko eh may sakit ako..  Anyways, I miss that feeling… you’re always smiling, kahit mukhang ogag.. always kikilig sa mga entries ko… I’m hoping that time will soon come… ung kapag nagtxt na sya, happy ka na, ung ur looking forward to go home and see him… In fairness, I guess  I was also inlove with some guy I have met when I came back sa Pinas, though it doesn’t usually work out, either taken or praning… one thing is for sure, I tried opening my heart again cause I love falling in love even if I fail and get hurt over and over… wala akong kadala-dala.. yan tuloy minsan d ko na rin alam ang difference kung inlove na nga ba ako hayyyy.. but I know that things will come into places, one by one, actually things are going to places na on its own, without having to try so very hard, things are working out fine… I have to patch some things up pero I know that I will accomplish them soon too.. I hope our small biz will be stable na, then next year I plan to review for a certification, then hopefully maayos na ang career.. I can stay here if things are gonna work out fine or maybe move into a greener pasture.. O boss Pat, nababsa mo ba entry ko, hehehe, I know ud understand… so I guess need muna bumalik ulit sa trabaho… lugi na sila sa ibinabayad sa akin…

B4 I end my post.. BRO BOUGHT ME A U700 CELFON!!!! THANKS BRO… kailangan pa pala kita awayin para mapilitan ka hehehe…. Padala mo na agad ha hehehe…

ikaw c papa, ako c mama, we already have have kids… its already late and the kids are already sleeping, you’re still away, but you just send your kisses to the kids… hehehe.. it always put smiles on my face.. kalandian or kakornihan.. wala lng… I like the idea or is it something else… don’t expect too much.. let’s enjoy  what we have.. do not assume.. do not expect.. just be happy… just smile.. just forget what other people say… afraid that this will just be  for now,  might not last, so  don't push me too far... don't want to regret any wrong moves or wrong assumptions.. just be happy... 

 
*drama ni inday*.. visit na lng kau ng business blog ni chelsy - http://chelsy0115.wordpress.com... order na mga kapatid.. oroginal Lacoste shirts po yan for only P1500.00... nice stylish bracelets, labor of love...  puhunan dyan d lng money, puyat, pagod,  utak at away hehehe...

Christmas is so around the corner.. I’m not ready yet… Haven’t created a list of my inaanaks, susme, ano ireregalo ko sa kanila.. the thing is, may budget na ba ako?? Oh well.. pero para mas masarap mag update ng list I wanted to give myself.. hehehe… makasarili ang lola.. d naman cguro… d ko naman uunahin ang sarili ko e.. I just want to have a list… Sa mga mababait dyan, baka gusto nyo ko bigyan hehehe…

1.  Laptop – I so wanted a laptop, a Sony Vios, or a Fujitsu na kulay puti.. hehe ung kulay ang mahalaga hihihi

2.   new celfon – maraming candidates for a new celfon, pero d ako pilian especially kung bigay, bro promised to buy me one, I’ll wait till tomorrow if may dadating na celfon this Decmber wiheee…

3.  shoes – I want the skechers shoes I saw in SM/landmark.. so simple yet comfy, pde sa pants pde rin sa shorts.. hmm.. pano ko kaya isisingit sa budget…

4.  handbag – my roxy bag was stolen during the hold up incident.. I haven’t bought a new one, may nagustuhan akong guess na bag pero d sya reasonable to buy.. masyado pang magara hehehe.. so I simple yet stylish bag will do, syempre not expensive… Bogs asan na bag ko??? Hehehe…

5.   I want a hair color and a rebond – too expensive nga lng.. kahit hair color na lng hehehe…

6.   spa – I need a spa/massage.. complete relaxation…

7.  dresses/blouses/pants – shopping galore in short… well I always do this naman, lately nga lng, hindi na kac medyo mahigpit sa budget but once I got hold of my money, yes!!! Back to shopping..

8.  furniture for my condo – long time plan na till now d pa napupush-through.. oh well have to find a way to complete what I want for my place…

I haven’t updated in a while.. been busy doing lots of stuff.. andyan ung updating our business blog, gawa ng swarovski bracelet, mag inventory at magcompute ng kung ano2. When I get home naman sa Batangas, so busy going out with mama. Since it’s the two of us that is left at home, syempre I have to make the most of our time together. Tulad bukas luluwas na naman ako, malulungkot na naman c mama… I want my Tatay to come back home n lng, kung may maganda work lng sana d2 sa Pinas, d2 n lng sya para d naman kami hiwa-hiwalay… I have so many things in mind pero tinatamad ako hehe…

RAIN… fafa RAIN… kung ang kras ni ate scarlett eh c Jay, ako naman c rain.. Ultimate kras ko sya since I have watched him sa “Full House”… He might not be that cute pero syet na malagkit, for me super fafable sya.. or maybe he was just my type.. I like tall and slim guys, and of course chinito… but I only had one bf na chinito (well technically) hehehe… c bespren, chinito, tall and slim pero d kasing gwapo nyan, anyways, he’s my past.. I guess my point is that even if your ideal guy or “tipong lalake” is chinito or maputi or chubby, pag inlove ka na, wala na, un na un.. wala ka nang kalaban laban… you just fall in love… yesss!!! I wan to be inlove… or am I inlove??? Waaaa.. too early to tell.. but I really wish that if I’d be in a serious relationship again, I hope it would be Rain este kung cno man sya, sya na ang last bf who would eventually be promoted to be my hubby… for now.. Rain is my bf hehehe…

COME visit...........

Chelsy's Business bloggy

http://chelsy0115.wordpress.com

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I saw this song at dadi mels blog... may video sa kanya pero d ko mainsert d2.. anyways.. maganda lng sya.. hehe.. ayos!!! kapraningan.. hayy ang sarap mainlove... nag-eesep-esep na ako.. gusto ko na magseryoso, i mean d na ako bumabata pero gumaganda naman... aheemm (ang kokontra bingot).. cguro next year.. oh well.. tignan natin... love just comes knockin at your door when you least expect it, so never expect and just go with the flow.. nakatulong ng malaki ang hindi ko pagpasok kahapon.. absent kac ako.. Sick leave, not feeling too well or may KATAM.. nakapag-recharge.. kaya ngaun may panlaban sa puyat d2 sa opis, 4:30 am na.. yes konti na lng..lapit na ang uwian... I'll leave you with the song.. search nyo na lang sa youtube hehe... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pts-t0mGEYE&eurl

I shouldn't love you but i want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but i can't move
I can't look away

And i don't know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings taking control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to
Be around you
Theres so much i can't say
And do you want me to hide the feelings
And look away

And i don't know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings taking control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back i realize it was always there to be spoken
Now I'm waiting here
Been waiting here

 
Just so you know
This feelings taking control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

I’m tired… stressed… I can feel pumapanget ako lalo.. mukha na naman akong lola sa stress na to… pero I don’t want to stop.. for I have started it and so I have to move forward… I just want to let this out… what I feel.. how I feel… I hear someone else’s voice, “spare me the drama”..  yeah.. yoko na maging drama queen… But please let me say what I want to say.. baka by crying out loud, mabawasan ang bigat nito… may karapatan din naman ako magreklamo db, tao lng ako…  don’t take away my right to cry, to give up, to be sad, to hate… maging sensitive ka naman sa tao sa paligid mo…

HAPPY 52^ND BIRTHDAY MAMA!!! Thanks for being a wonderful mama, kahit medyo strict ka este sobrang strict pala.. nakakalusot pa rin ako hehehe… You're not just a mom but a friend and a shopping buddy… I guess I have no gift for you at this time, you know naman that things are too tight financially for me, and I give you presents naman even if its not your birthday… Recently you have been very opinionated about my career and of course my lovelife.. mas atat ka pa sa akin, whie I'm taking my time, pinepressure mo lng naman ako but I know that you love me kaya ka ganun… I wish you all the happiness and love in this world, we have you and you have us, nothing is perfect but I see our family relationship as perfect as it could, Thanks GOD for His blessing on our family and for helping us go through each trials together… We love you mama, more birthdays to come and I wish I can give you "apo" na but God has His time to give you one ok… mwaaaa…

Things to do now and until the rest of the week…

1.        Do my job, I'm at the office yet I don't feel like working.. may sarili na naman mundo c Rachel, basta may earphone sa tenga at nakikinig sa personal playlist ko.. mamaya aantukin na naman… hirap ng night shift.

2.       Sleep, kahit 2 hrs lng… I only had 2 hrs of sleep kahapon.. addicted to a new hobby… I think I'm sick, fever and colds. Naulanan kac kami kanina eh wala pa naman ako tulog, hina ng resistansya ko..

3.       Call mama, its almost 12 MN. Greet her happy birthday.

4.       Edit bracelet and polo pix before uploading, have to update the new ones into the business blog.

5.       Update business blog, many things to check and update on it.. I want a new layout,but I don't know how to start. The thing is I really need to update.

6.       Check on polo stocks, I haven't had idea, how many stocks we have as of now. Had to balance the expenses also. D pa nammin nararamdaman kung may kinita na kami..

7.       Have to pay bills, car, condo, association dues, water, electricity, credit card.. huhuhu Ang haba ng listahan but I know I can pay for them, may talent ako magbudget, at mas may talent ako sa pagtitipid hehe…

8.       Team building on Thursday and Friday.. this will eat 2 days of my 3 day rest day but I think it'll be worth it. Officemates are also friends so it would seem like going out with friends.

9.       Help bro prepare his things, his luggage and his allowance before his flight abroad on Saturday. I'm sad that I'll miss him, we'll miss him…

10.     Resolve things that's been bugging my mind, my body isn't the only one tired, I guess my mind is more exhausted. Need to realx…

wawa naman sya.. pero ang cute pa rin hehehe...