Hello World… Barangay Elections ngaun.. asan ako?? And2 sa opis.. Oh well kailangn kumayod, wala pa naman kami leave.. ang masaklap lng.. dp a sure na macoconsider as OT ang trabaho ko ngaun, nak ng pating na A***tu** yan.. walng kawenta-wenta.. lugi na kami sa OT namin… Pano pa kaya ung pasok sa Pasko at Bagong Taon.. don't tell me oTY din?? Avah maganda pang mag-abesnt n lng kesa magpakabayani noh…

Last Saturday, nagbabysit lng ako ng mga pamangkins na makukulit at cute.. sayang d ko mapost ung pix nila.. I love the way they call me "Ninang ecel"… katuwa ang mga bata how they appreciate the simple things like ipinagluto ko sila ng fried chicken, ang dami nila nakain at kahit niluluto ko pa ung chiken eh naka-abang na, excited na kumain… tapos nung tutulog na gusto nila c Ninang ang nasa tabi nila… Nalinis ko muna katawan ng mga bata den bihis for bed… den ayun mamaya tulog na habang nanood p lng ng tv… masaya pala ang ganun… d ko sila mga anak pero ang sarap ng feeling na inaasikaso ko sila, lalo na cguro kung "mama" ang tawag nila sakin hehehe… un nga lng makukulit… ilang ulit mo sasabihan, medyo matigas ang ulo.. kapag napagsabihan mo iiyak ng iiyak.. waaaa naloko ako nung umaga na… pero ok lng.. masaya pa rin kahit sinumpong na sila…

I've created a new bloggy… pero d pa sya tapos, daming pang dapat ayusin.. its for my business bloggy… sana mavisit nyo rin… medyo kasama dun ung raket(bracelets) ng kafatid natin sa blog world, nakikiresell ako for him.. pero ok lng dumiretsa na lng kau sa kanya lalo na if kilala nyo naman sya… d po ako competensya nya, nakikisali lng ako sa business nya hehe… kaya wag kayo magulat kung ung bracelets na naka-post dun e tulad ng posts nya sa bloggy nya… Come and visit my friends…. Pili na kau…

http://chelsy0115.wordpress.com

Can somebody hand me a compass?? Db compass gives you direction?? I need direction, I need a purpose.. It seems that I don’t know where to go to nor how to get there… oh well.. in less than 3 months I’ll be 28, shox, it hurts… When I was in HS, I was like planning to get married at the age of 28 but well, I can’t get to the altar wearing a bridal gown without somebody there waiting for me ei? Career… It’s almost 6 years in this industry and I don’t think I already have any achievement… But I don’t even know what I really want.. I don’t even know how I’d define achievement.. I remember what Elwood told me before, “They are happy because they know what they want and they are making it happen, ikaw, ano ba gusto mo?”.. Ano nga ba??

I’m creating a new blog… for business purposes.. syempre link ko d2 kapag may post na ako.. still uploading the pix…

I need a break and so is my friend crissy.. so ayun, plano na naman.. sa hundred islands.. kahit alam ko nasa Luzon un pero d ko alam sang province, cge lng gusto ko sumama, kahit wala akong money to spare, cge lng magpoproduce ako, kahit magulo ang sked ko this November, cge lng, aabsent ako tutal wala rin naman silbi ang pagpasok ko d2 sa opis… Sana lng makita ko ung peace of mind na hinahanap  ko, maalis ung stress na pilit kumakapit sa pagkatao ko… Sana lng tumuwid na ulit pag-iisip ko.. papraning praning kac…

Last night, a friend brought something he cooked for me.. masarap sya.. salamat…

The other day, another friend treat me on Starbucks, “No-reservations” movie and then Kenny.. thanks din..

To the friend who calls me every now and then even if overseas pa un and it costs him so much, who still offers a free spa, all his expense, and still offers his heart, hehehe, sabay tawa e noh… asarin ba kita, wala eh, ganun mo ko love noh… bwahahaha… *evil laugh*.. Thanks so much..

Last week, another friend brought home ice cream.. thanks.. kulang na lng maglungad ako sa dami… and thanks for being a good companion, we don’t talk much sa bahay, minsan nagkukulitan as in hampasan at tadyakan pero d naman masakit un.. but a simple hug from you takes away the sadness in me… You’ll always be my besfriend.. I can still remember how I’d define our friendship ”The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.”

What's up?? What's up??

I'm not depressed anymore… sabi nga ng iba tao dyan meron naman daw akong love life, ok fine!!! Meron na kung meron… hindi pa rin ako convince na meron.. oh well.. I don't think I have a lot of time thinking about it lately… I'm so stressed and physically exhausted.. A lot of things have been going on since  October came in…

Last Sunday, I moved in to a new condo… My mama, bro, tito ruel and kuya jeck helped me.. ok na sana, but the bed, tv and other appliances were left, I didn't get a move out permit kac so I had to leave it there until I get a permit. Which meant that I slept on the carpet with a comforter on it… Its comfy for me but of course I missed my bed… 5:30 am we were already in Pasay to get the things I can get, personal stuff only… come 10am, they went back to Batangas leaving me alone, cleaning my new place.. oh well, tell me about physical exhaustion.. my body ached…

Thursday, my bro finally got a move out permit, so had to be at the old condo as early as 9am.. it was difficult to rent a jeep to get my bed, had to pay 500 pesos for a just a 10 minutes drive from my old place to the new place, for the reason that its risky.. huh?? Risky cause they might get caught by alligators (buwaya)… alam nyo nay un.. Come afternoon had to go to the mall with a friend to get a celfon, Thank GOD d nangyari ung pagsabog sa Glorieta nung Thursday, were there kac.. God is os good pa rin talaga.. and at night cleaning again of the new things that have been moved in…

Friday, wake up early to go back to Batangas. Had to get my lost driver's license… what's new with the gov't agencies.. slow as a turtle processing.. was there by 11am and finished at 3pm.. rushed to SSS to have my lost SSS id, picture taking lng nangyari… The good news.. I'll get the LTO license after 4 months and the SSS id will be sent through mail after 3 months..really nice… thinking may tax is as heavy as a my month's salary when I was still in laguna.. ambaet, ganun kabagal ang process besides the fact na malaking bayad mo tax… Then pack up again going to Laguna. Farewell party of my boss in FCPP.. If he wasn't my favorite boss, and thought me UNIX and was my fantacia in Fujitsu hehehe, I wouldn't have taken the effort :P… I owe a lot of Solaris ek-ek to him.. Sir Richie take care.. God Bless.. You're a good person and so God will always guide you and will never let you down… Panay iloveyou ka po samin last night, sana lng d ka pa taken nyahahaha….

Today.. got back from Laguna.. and finally slept.. Though not all day.. maya ulit gabi… yeba!!! Blogging muna hehe.. Of course all those deal requires a lot of budget so my pocket was like shouting.. Stop all this expenses.. No more left for me in the next few days… Oh well.. I'll get by.. I had many friends who can help out.. Thanks Bogs and Elwood.. you guys are really good friends… I need not ask twice for help… you guys were the best..

So a week of stress and exhausted mind and body… i'm getting slim but i'm having pimples.. arrggg.. I hate pimples.. Ciao for now friends.. i'll have some rest muna ulit..  have a great weekend.. mwaahhh..

Ano ba naman to??  wala na ngang pera, wala pa ring lovelife waaaaa…. Dati naman meron nung isa kung wala ung isa pero ngaun, aba naman, sabay pa…. susme…

Depress ako, naiiyak ako, I want a break, sa outer space hehehe… nagagawa ko pang magbiro eh wala na nga ako sa sarili… Honestly I need a break… I want to go to a beach, ung konti lng ang tao, secluded, ayoko naman mag-isa pumunta dun syempre, I never wanted to be alone, yung kahit be with friends, closest friends, 1 or 2 of them maybe, mas ok sana kung with special someone, eh wala nga ako nun, ano ba??? Cge mangarap ka pa Rachel – gusto ko ung when I wake in the morning, matatanaw ko ung white sand beach.. ung calm waters.. yung magandang sunrise, sabay naming papanoorin ang ganda ng view, as simple as it is, ung smile lng ng mahal ko plus the view plus the quiet serene place, wow, what a day… un ang mga umagang nakakatanggal ng pagod, problema at stress… kahit 3 days lng na ganun, matatanggal na cguro ang depression ko ngaun.. kaso, reality bites… I don’t have money and I don’t have a love life…

Last August and September wala din naman akong pera (ok meron konti) at walang lovelife (what’s new) pero I feel I was so happy those times, parang at peace ako sa sarili ko, tahimik ng mundo ko at kontento ako kung ano lng ang meron ako pero grabe, sinimulan ng sept 30, hold up day, pagdating ng October grabe pa rin.. sunod sunod na, parang tumatalon ang pera sa bulsa ko… Ang fighting spirit ko pa naman, may nawalang malaki sakin kaya may kapalit na magandang mangyayari, ayun, gang ngaun wala pa rin mabuting nangyayari sa akin.. at mas ramdam ko na ung nawala sa akin, kac ung ID’s ko d2 sa opis 2500 kung babayaran ko, 5 IDs x 500 huhu.. I need to get new driver’s license, cause I need to practice driving since my bro will soon leave, magkano un 1k+, and I want to get a new phone waaa, not for now.. and the worst, wala ako sinuweldo this 15, as in literal, zero dahil ng taxes last month at annualization.na isang bagsak kinuha ngaun... D na kaya ng powers ko ah.. Iyakan na to…

Pero d lng naman pera eh.. depress ako emotionally… dati contented na ako na walang lovelife, happy by myself, but there are things that you just can’t control.. d ko alam bakit, basta lang depress ako.. I feel empty again… Cguro dahil kagabi, mag-isa lng ako sa bagong kong tinutuluyan, first night ko dun, I’m all alone.. kapalaran ko kaya mag-isa n lng habang buhay ko??? Oh well… hirap pag d ka kagandahan, mailap ang love life.. Dapat talaga palagi n lng naka-set sa utak ko na I’m happy being alone, so that I won’t wish to find a companion or a partner, so that I won’t be hurt anymore.. So that I’ll be contented…

Pahabol… kapag wala sa sarili, wag n lng mag transact online sa banko.. niloadan ko lng naman ng 250 ung luma kong number, kung may gumagamit man ngaun nung sim kong nanakaw.. swerte mo, may 250 load ka na may 35 free txt ka pa.. ang saya.. nagtitipid nga ako eh, tapos ganito pa… arrrggg…

INOM TAu!!!

Breath rachel, breath deep… think… calm down…

I'm speechless.. I have lots of things in my mind.. pero walang lumabas.. I don't know how to react. Cguro just be happy…. PLASTIC!!!

***

Gel (ang gay at heart na gumagawa nito), eto na ung request mo na i-post ko ung bracelet na gawa mo.. He repaired the bracelet and created it into a new fresh elegant look, may dagdag pang earrings.. sa sunod n lng bayad po.

This is one of those touching stories… kahit OP ako kac for those in a relationship to.. cute lng to share… was also sent to me through an email.... thanks crissy...

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Somebody gave me this nice cutey earrings… thanks Gel.. I really appreciate the effort and the thought J… ganda noh, cute ng butterfly.. If gusto nyo din, sasabihin ko sa friend ko, you can buy from them hehe... Sya kac gumawa nyan, that's why I treasure it more..

"I was dancing in the dark with strangers, no love around me" --- a line from the song "Every Woman in the World" by Air Supply…. Exactly what I feel right now… oh well, senti mode cguro ako ngaun kaya wag na lng paapekto…

Finally moving out of my current condo, I'm moving forward yey!!! Yesterday we or should I say "I" have signed 1 year contract of tenancy to a new place I will call 2^nd home from now on. It's a studio unit again cause that is all I can afford from my small salary… besides only me and my brother will stay there so ok na rin and the place is just 1 ride to the office and no problem when it comes to water supply hehehe… Gastos! Pero I think I will like it there, its quiet and clean… We'll be moving in starting next week… I won't have to clean up na rin cause last nght they already did the cleaning, I requested kac that before I sign the contract and pay them the advances, I should see that the place is clean, demanding ako e hehehe… So pano?? House warming na!!!!

Bro have already decided about his career's future… It would be a major major change for him.. But I think he will learn to be independent, he should be, his already 25 yrs old… Before, I always thought that my bro is so dependent of me, always "ate pano to?, ate, pautang!, ate, kaw na bahala., ate, ikaw magdecide, ate, libre" and its very often that I tell him what to do and how to decide on things… I thought he was the only one dependent on me, un pala, I was dependent on him too… I'm happy about his decision, finally seeing him get more mature and of course it's for his future, career growth for him, but deep inside my heart, I'm sad. Dependent din pala ako sa kanya… takot din pala ako mag isa.. Mas ok talaga na ako ung aalis kesa sya ang aalis… I'm worried he might not adjust or baka mahirapan sya ng husto, malayo kami to help him, when he needs us we won't be there in just a click. We can't be there in a 3hr bus ride, 3 hr plane ride pa cguro. I really love my bro, kahit madalas kami mag-away kahit minsan kontrabida kami sa buhay ng isat isa… Oh well.. he still have a month to back out… whatever his final decision might be.. baka nga ihatid ko pa sya dun.. but ooopss mukhang tinalo ko pa mama namin sa pag-aalala hehehe… to you bro, if ever ud read this: "Love kita.. this will be a good opportunity to learn and be independent but always remember that when things gets rough, d2 lng c ate, kahit puntahan pa kita sa pupuntahan mo pero kayanin mo muna bago ka mag inarte ok hehehe…"

Senti pa rin ako, pero atleast alam ko kung saan ako lulugar…

October 2 na.. I wasn't able to create an entry about the Healing priest, Fr. Faller. I just need the inspiration to make the entry as nice as I can…

Though now I'm creating a post…. I think I really need to create one… I have many things on my mind, ang gulo ng utak ko ngaun…

I'm so lucky… Nahold-up ako last Sunday night. Oh well, ganda ng pasok ng October 1, A big amount of money was lost, my celfon and all my IDs are in my bag. Now I had to pay for everything to get those new atm cards, and Company IDs and badges, wont forget SSS and driver's license.. ang saya db.. Nakakatakot pala.. Now, I would always fear to go out in the streets alone especially at night. Sosyal ang mga walanghiya, naka-scooter pa.. But I think they don't have the balls to be a man… Biruin mong 2 pa sila para nakawan ako.. Gosh.. very traumatic, d lng ako nagpapahalata sa mga taong malapit sa akin pero sama talaga ng pakiramdam nun, I don't want to see that place anymore, but I was thinking of facing my fears, maybe I'll do that, but not now. That event is just another proof that life is so precious, I fought for my bag, instinct cguro un, cause I know I have many valuables there but when I heard the guy in the scooter saying "Pare saksakin mo na kung d pa rin ibigay". Nung marinig ko un, nanghina ako, natumba nya ako sa kalsada, I had to fight for my dear life kesa ilaban ung bag ko… Nasugatan ako ng patalim nya at may mga pasa ngaun pero Thanks be to GOD.. ganun lng ang nangyari sakin, I wouldn't know if things get worst, mas masakit cguro ung nag-aalala ung mga taong mahal ko at malapit sa akin… So guys and gals, always take care especially during the times that you are alone and in places na walang tao at madilim. Marami nang masasamang tao ngaun. I wasn't able to see their faces but I know that there is karma… Bahala na ang langit sa kanila… I have to move forward… Iniisip ko na lng, may mas magandang mangyayari sa akin kaya nangyari un… GO GIRL!!!!, always be positive…

I'm happy… but I still have a lot of fears… Dagdag pa ung nangyari sakin na holdapan… I have a lot of friends who loves and cares for me, and I love them too… Of course they know I cared a lot for them too. Friends are treasures in life that noone will ever take away from us because they stay in our hearts… Thanks to all of you.. Thanks also to this newly found friend whom I appreciate every effort he exerts… I may not be very expressive, maybe because I have a lot of fears, but you don't know how thankful I am… Masakit pa rin ung anti-tetano sa braso ko pero thanks for being there nung ini-inject un sa akin… Just so you know, I'm here for you…

So pano yan… WANTED: BOYFRIEND!!! Este WANTED: NEW HOUSE pala.. hehehe.. kac naman need ko na lumipat lalo na nangyari un sa akin… gastos na naman… I'll go for now… Magpapagawa pa ng affidavit of loss, susme… again, thanks sa lahat ng concern for me… LOVE KO KAU!!!!

I want to post an entry,, I really want to.. despite the fact that I'm sleepy, feel like vomiting and so dizzy… And so busy here at the office din pala.

What I want to tell you about was my extraordinary experience on Fr. Faller's healing. Such a different but wonderful feeling being healed. I don't have any physical sickness, well nothing critical as cancer or whatever, Thank you Dear Jesus!, but I think I'm emotionally and spiritually sick. So I went there with my family and relatives to Fr. Faller's visit at our town. Actually I want to post all that happened in details, so that I won't ever forget it. But right now I won't be able to that.. I'm really so sleepy, its 4:30 in the morning na kac. So I hope I'd feel better tomorrow so that I'll be more inspired to share to all of you that wonderful thing with the Holy Spirit.. yey!! Banal ako ngaun.. kahit praning ako, I always wanted to be good, I'm trying so hard…

***For some who have read this post already.. you might wonder why some part of this post were missing… Sorry my friends, I had to delete this part of the post as per request of a friend, as in friend ha, hindi yan Showbiz friends.. I don’t usually give in to what other people might say or think about what I do but I’m doing this for “WORLD PEACE”!!! Nyahaha feeling Ms. Universe ituuu.. sabay kaway pang-Ms.U ulit.. “Paalam”.. Hope everybody’s happy now.. ***