Why does it have to be that when you’re happy, someone will be hurt, somebody will be sad. Why wouldn’t everyone around you understand the things that you wanted to do, the things that you just want to have… I never wanted to hurt anyone, not in any way, never an intention; I just want to be happy just like everybody… Buy why does being happy have to mean of hurting someone else. We all deserve to be happy but is it right that we will be happy having someone else’s happiness at stake….

Am I ready for you? Am I ready to commit. I admit I like you, I always think of you, always looking forward to seeing you and talking to you… But is it just now? Will it be forever.. I was once so sure about what I feel, I was so sure of what I want, how I want it… I was sure that I will tell the world that I love somebody, that he was all of me, that he was my life, I could shout and tell the world that I love him… will I be ready for that?? Is this to that extent.. or is this temporary?? I’m so afraid of falling again but more afraid of hurting you… We have just been starting but I think somebody is already hurt.. I’m happy yet I’m not.. wtf….

If only people can be black and white, or transparent.. they would tell you what they feel, what they want to do, but life isn’t that easy… life isn’t fair.. you just thought you know but you end up being wrong, I don’t usually assume, its my defense mechanism, I don’t want to expect so as not to get hurt, but it made me hurt a good old friend…

I’m sorry my friend… I never want to do that, am still not sure about everything, all I know is I’m happy and always wanted to be happy.. I didn’t know what I wanted too but he at least showed me what I want maybe, what I need maybe… you said you were ok.. but eventually you were not… I’m sorry.. I never meant to hurt you…

To my bestfriend tux, Am I ready to love again the way I did on you… I know you’re happy for me.. I’m not sure.. I’m afraid, If we could talk right now, I know you’d just smile and tell me to go on… I wanted to be sure I;m over you and will never look back to our past.. But I know I;m sure. I already have your blessing, your approval… oh well, maybe I just miss my bestfriend at this kind of times…

Anyways, nobody is forcing me, I have all the time I have, no one is in a hurry.. I might just be senti today.. I’m just weird today…